Traditional European/English weddings in Malaysia, especially in Melaka, are a beautiful blend of Western traditions and Malaysian culture. The weddings are usually formal affairs with elegant decor, sophisticated attire, and a sit-down dinner. Here are some of the common European/English wedding customs and procedures:
(1) Engagement Ceremony
The engagement ceremony is a formal announcement of the couple's intention to marry. It is a private affair where the couple exchange rings and make a promise to marry each other. In some cases, the couple may also have a formal dinner with close family and friends.
European/English Traditional Poem:
"A Red, Red Rose" by Robert Burns
O my Luve's like a red, red rose,
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie,
That’s sweetly play'd in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:
Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.
And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it were ten thousand mile.
This is a famous Scottish poem that is often recited during engagement ceremonies. It celebrates the deep love and commitment between the couple.
(2) Wedding Invitations
The wedding invitations are usually formal and elegant, with the couple's names and the details of the ceremony printed on high-quality cardstock. The invitations are sent out several weeks in advance to give the guests enough time to RSVP and make arrangements to attend the wedding.
European/English Traditional Poem:
"To His Coy Mistress" by Andrew Marvell
Had we but world enough and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down, and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day.
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side,
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide,
Of Humber would complain. I would,
Love you ten years before the Flood,
And you should, if you please, refuse,
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow,
Vaster than empires and more slow;
An hundred years should go to praise,
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.
This is a famous poem that is often quoted in wedding invitations. It celebrates the beauty and timelessness of love.
(3) Wedding Ceremony
The wedding ceremony is usually held in a church or a chapel, and it is a formal affair with the bride wearing a white wedding gown and the groom wearing a tuxedo. The ceremony is usually presided over by a minister or a priest, and it involves the exchange of vows and rings.
European/English Traditional Poem:
"Sonnet 116" by William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds,
Admit impediments. Love is not love,
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov’d,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.
This is a famous sonnet that is often recited during the wedding ceremony. It celebrates the enduring nature of true love.
(3a) Ceremony Vow Agenda
- Introduction by the officiant
- Exchange of rings
- Exchange of vows
- Community vow
- Pronouncement of marriage
- Kiss the bride
(3.1) Introduction
Officiant:Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of [Bride's name] and [Groom's name]. They have come together to declare their love and commitment before God and their loved ones. Today, they exchange their wedding vows, symbolized by the giving and receiving of rings.
(3.2) Exchange of Rings:
Officiant:
[Bride's name] and [Groom's name], may I have the rings, please?
[Bride's name] and [Groom's name] exchange rings and the officiant blesses them.
(3.3) Exchange of Vows:
Officiant:
[Bride's name] and [Groom's name], please join hands and repeat after me:
[Bride's name], do you take [Groom's name] to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?
[Bride's name] responds, "I do."
[Groom's name], do you take [Bride's name] to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?
[Groom's name] responds, "I do."
(3.4) Community Vow:
Officiant:
[Bride's name] and [Groom's name], as you have made your vows before God and each other, we, your family and friends, pledge to support you and care for you as you embark on this new journey together.
Church / Community please all stand and responds, "I do."
(3.5) Pronouncement of Marriage:
Officiant:
By the power vested in me by the State and in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
(3.6) Kiss the Bride:
Officiant:
You may now kiss the bride.
[Bride's name] and [Groom's name] share their first kiss as a married couple."
(4) Wedding Reception
The wedding reception is a formal dinner that is usually held at a hotel or a banquet hall. The reception usually includes a sit-down dinner, speeches, and dancing. The bride and groom usually have their first dance together, and the guests are invited to dance afterwards.
European/English Traditional Poem:
"A Song for Lovers" by John Dryden
Fair, sweet, and young, receive a prize,
Reserved for your victorious eyes:
From crowds, whom at your feet you see,
O pity a divided knee.
Fortune and Love their wars have waged,
And cruelly their host engaged.
Yet not the beauty nor the swain,
The prize deserv'd deserves in vain.
Love conquers all, and I'll no more,
Dispute with him, who richest store,
Of charms possesses: nothing higher,
Is left for me but to admire.
Thus vanquished too, I yield my arms,
And give up all at once to charms,
In youth, as well as years, the same,
Without love, life's a tiresome game.
This is a beautiful poem that is often recited during the wedding reception. It celebrates the joy and happiness of the newlyweds and their love for each other.
A list of some popular wedding reception dances along with some songs suggestions:
First dance - The newlyweds take the floor for their first dance as a married couple. Song suggestions: "At Last" by Etta James, "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran, "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley.
Father-daughter dance - The bride dances with her father or another significant male figure in her life. Song suggestions: "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle, "My Girl" by The Temptations, "I Loved Her First" by Heartland.
Mother-son dance - The groom dances with his mother or another significant female figure in his life. Song suggestions: "A Song for Mama" by Boyz II Men, "The Perfect Fan" by Backstreet Boys, "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Wedding party dance - The wedding party joins the bride and groom on the dance floor. Song suggestions: "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars, "Can't Stop the Feeling!" by Justin Timberlake, "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston.
Anniversary dance - The DJ or band invites all married couples to the dance floor and gradually eliminates couples based on the length of their marriage until the longest-married couple is left dancing. Song suggestions: "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers, "When I Fall in Love" by Nat King Cole, "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra.
Group dance - A dance that encourages everyone to join in and dance together. Song suggestions: "The Macarena" by Los Del Rio, "The Cha Cha Slide" by DJ Casper, "Cupid Shuffle" by Cupid.
These are just a few examples, and there are many more options for each of these dances. Ultimately, the song selection will depend on the preferences of the couple and their guests.
Toasts and Speeches
Toasts and speeches are an important part of the wedding reception. The best man, the maid of honor, and the father of the bride usually give speeches, and the guests are invited to give toasts to the newlyweds.
Examples of the Toasts and Speeches:
1. Best Man Speech:
Dear guests, friends, and family, it is an honor to stand here today as the best man for my dear friend and the bridegroom. I have known him for many years and have watched him grow into the wonderful man he is today. As he starts this new chapter in his life with his lovely bride, I wish them both all the happiness and love in the world. Cheers to the newlyweds!
2. Maid of Honor Speech:
Dear friends and family, I am beyond grateful to stand here today as the maid of honor for the beautiful bride. She is not only my best friend but also my soul sister. Today, she marries her soulmate, and I cannot express how happy I am for her. May your love continue to grow, and your bond continue to strengthen with each passing day. Cheers to the happy couple!
3. Father of the Bride Speech:
Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pride and joy that I give this speech today as the father of the bride. My daughter has always been the apple of my eye, and seeing her marry the love of her life today brings me immense happiness. I would like to welcome my new son-in-law into our family and raise a toast to the newlyweds. May your love for each other continue to flourish forever. Cheers!
European/English Traditional Poem:
"To a Mouse" by Robert Burns
Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murd'ring pattle!
I'm truly sorry man's dominion,
Has broken nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle,
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An' fellow-mortal!
I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave,
'S a sma' request:
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't!
Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's winds ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!
Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past,
Out thro' thy cell.
That wee-bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou's turned out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld!
But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men,
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
Still, thou art blest, compar'd wi' me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But, och! I backward cast my e'e.
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!
This is a famous Scottish poem that is often recited during the toasts and speeches. It celebrates the unpredictability of life and the need to enjoy the present moment.
European/English weddings in Melaka are a beautiful celebration of love and tradition. Each custom and tradition has its own unique significance and meaning, and the traditional poems and songs that are recited during these ceremonies add to the elegance and sophistication of these customs.